3 days long.
I’ve been holding my breath down here.
Avoiding the stench of these unsifted emotions that we just step over all the time like mounds of moldy wreckage in a hoarders house. Frightening and violent. We’ve been in denial for so long that I don’t even know what is real anymore.
I drag these piles with me everywhere I go. Last night I Googled: “when is it okay to let go?” And Google wasn’t feeling lucky so it turned up some file on cliff diving without a parachute. I think I will try to find away to apply my research.
Get a running start.
Don’t stop until you hit the bottom.
Step three and four:
Collect yourself again, and begin to walk in unknown territory, exposed, alone. You didn’t expect to survive so you’ve brought nothing with you. Become wild.
I think three days is too long to live without hearing your voice. I hum to myself as I walk along and my voice bounces off the canyon walls, keeping me company. I have learned how to survive a fall and when I make it home to you, I will no longer be afraid.
We will begin by gently touching each other’s mouths with rocks I found by the river. You’ll whisper that you never felt like you belonged here. I will smile with my crazy eyes and you’ll understand that I never felt safe anywhere until I was left to die.
-Joy Boardman, March 23, 2015
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