If I were a novel character.

Shes complicated, determined, sensitive, independent, stubborn, lazy.

She craves comfort and warmth. She has skin hunger and a need to move her body. She loves soft things, deep voices, the wind in the trees, sunshine. She loves loud, gritty music.

She wants to dress up in costumes and eat ice cream while watching funny scary movies. Character development is important to her, she gets attatched.

She wants to dance. She doesnt care if all eyes are on her as long as she’s having fun.

She craves depth over a bottle of wine. Kisses that mean something. Being stretched by life.

She needs new: emotions, experiences, views, foods, sensations.

She wants people to whisper beautiful things in her ears.

She hates waste: wasted time, effort, days…. She is in for the long haul so make it worth her while.

When she loves, she loves raw. She wants to gnaw on the bones of life and she wants them to reward her with juicy marrow.

She’s a wild creature in a tamed body. When you stare in her eyes, you can see the fire flashing in her soul.

She lies bathed in golden sunlight on a soft couch, wrapped only in thick, soft silk. Large graceful cats purring beside her, she scratches their small ears and sinks her quiet hands into their warm bellies. A green plate of angel hair pasta and a glass of Malbec wine sit on a low table next to the couch. Portishead plays scratchily on vinyl behind her.

She’s good at figuring out how things work, what makes people happy, how to touch people the right way. She’s good at dancing, she’s flexible, and her body is full of rhythm. She can organize so fast and purge cutter in the blink of an eye. She can remember the words to every song. She makes a mean pasta sauce and can sit completely still while modeling for 20 minute stints.

Pictures that best represent ME:


Sweaty dancing with an Argentine, Pablo.


Attacking food prepared for me by my best girl, Melissa.



My favorite Halloween: Harley Quinn.


With my mom.



My favorite sparkly birthday (27th)




Best photo shoot I’ve ever modeled for: Josh Kamikaze






With my best friend on the planet, in the history of ever: TJ Hayes.

Autobiography semi-complete.

Uncover Your Passions

What did you love to do when you were little?

I loved dancing, singing to myself, taking pictures, playing dress up, doing puzzles, being outside with trees, talking about big ideas with my friends, making up complicated clubs with lots of rules, playing school, making art, playing with imaginary friends, writing poems and songs….

What are you drawn to? What is something you have seen or experienced that makes you feel so fantastic or hypnotized that you feel like you are on fire?

I love yoga, complicated dances (tango), belly dance, pole dancing, arial dancing, I love watching orchestras, I love baby big cats, I love travelling around the world, I love eating amazing food, I love connecting people and showing them new things….

If you had three different lifetimes and pick three different professions what would they be?

¤ Burlesque trapeze artist

¤ Fire-dancing yogi who travels around the world, street performing

¤ World-food taster with pet-jaguar sidekick

What can you come up with?
Love to Veronica Varlow for this writing prompt.

What is LOVE?


What is love? (“Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more….”)

Love. According to the bible:

Love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

But, what does that MEAN? I have heard those words over and over but haven’t really REALLY grasped the concept. Sooooo I got out my trusty Rogets International Thesaurus ((yay.))

What love IS

Love is patient. Love supports, sustains, bears with, puts up with, stands for, takes what comes, braves, holds still, stands still for, submits, grins and bears it, is armed with patience.

Love is accepting, understanding, indulgent, long-suffering, enduring, disciplined, self-controlled, persevering, humble, adapting. All in good time. Good things come to those who wait. 

Love is good, decent, gracious, warmhearted, tender, loving, affectionate, sympathetic, compassionate, brotherly, sweet, mild, easy to get along with, agreeable

Love is bighearted, generous, considerate, thoughtful, attentive, tactful, mindful of others, has good intentions.

Love is humble, modest, simple, Christlike.

Love comes on bended knee, treats well, does right by, is at ones service, spoils, has heart in the right place, makes love not war.

Love minds ones manners, observes etiquette, waits upon, is graceful, old fashioned, chivalrous, well-mannered & well-spoken, housebroken, refined, ladylike, suave, thinking of others, makes a sacrifice, does unto others, is unpretentious.

Love is devoted, committed, unpossessive, great souled, openhanded, noble, doing the right thing, upright, honest, pure, clean, innocent.

Love plays by the rules, practices what it preaches, speaks the truth, is frank, tells it like it is.

Love is virtuous, full of integrity, openhearted, straightforward, direct, heart to heart, trustworthy, reliable, responsible, faithful.

Love defends, shields, guards, advocates for, champions, fortifies, shelters, keeps safe, nestles, unmolested, undamaged, founded upon a rock, out of harms way, snug, cozy, alls well!

Love takes to heart, attatches weight to, takes on faith, trusts ones word, is confident in, satisfied, certain, easy in ones mind, secure, sure, no doubt, no second thoughts.

Love counts on, looks for, expects, trusts, confides, presumes, feels confident, rests assured, relies on.

Love is optimistic, sunny, of good cheer, upbeat, thinking positively.

Love puts a bold face on, cheers, inspires, supports, promises, looks up, encourages.

Love persists, keeps going, endures, holds on, stays.

Love is faithful, undiscouraged, rain or shine, come what may, all the way.


Next we will look at what love is NOT.

Debt-free by July 2014: progress report

I’m less than $1000 away from the halfway point!

At this point I’m starting to wonder what I’ll do to celebrate and how much it will change my life to be debt free.

My ultimate goal is to be debt free by my birthday in July. But I know that it’s more realistic to expect to make it happen by November.

If you’d like to help there are two ways to do so and there will be more ways coming soon!

1) If you live in Staunton, schedule a massage!

My current specials are: 20140305-122121.jpgcontact me at JoyBoardman@gmail.com to schedule.

It’s not too late to sign up for this either:20140305-122326.jpg

Or maybe a gift certificate?20140305-122347.jpg

2) The second thing you can do (especially if you aren’t local) is shop in my etsy shop!


I’ll be posting my March bath crystals soon! (Aromatherapy Epsom salts which are awesome for sore muscles and detoxifying your body!) I have new ones every month and specially crafted for every zodiac sign.

Wordy Wednesday: “How To Brave Night” by Gregory Sherl

How To Brave Night

Love should come with four exclamation marks, not three.
My heart goes bird poem, bird poem, bronchitis, triceratops.
I was born a world with my lips into your chest.
I brought the dust to its settle. Never three-way with ghosts.
Slowly gorging in rhythm while burning down
wildfires—wonder how last names curve like highways.
The Age of Yelling Love & doing it wrong.
I believe we all came from passion, the last seconds
of ticking, the directness of locked doors. Say burnt coals walking
through feet. Falling in place, throw rocks
at everything. I think best while counting Eskimos.
Say the smell you make when you moan. Or, how an angel
eats macaroons. Even so, yesterday in your different hair,
attaching strings to clouds. Alone with wind. I came here
to tell you I have loved everything once.

(Gregory Sherl)

Wordy Wednesday: “Notes on a Candy Cane Tree” by Gregory Sherl

What did I think about before you touched my thigh? Let me say this: I’m going to touch you until my fingers fall off. If my fingers don’t fall off, I will hold your hand even if it’s sweaty. And let me say this: You are lovelier than clouds that look like lovely things. I have only loved a few times and the last time was when you rubbed my neck under the monkey bars. We weren’t much younger than we are now. I still have the same haircut. You still have only one dimple. It’s on your left cheek and it looks like you fell on a pebble. I love that it looks like you fell on a pebble. Let me say this: You taste like candy canes. There was a candy cane tree in my old neighborhood. My neighbor hung candy canes on the branches of the willow and I snatched them in the middle of the night. It was December when I rode my bike the quickest, like I was going somewhere to meet you. I like you more than the candy cane tree. Let me say this: I am uncomfortable in my own skin, so I hold your face. I hold your face and your hips but mostly your face. You have a lovely face. Let me say this: I love you like monsters like scaring little kids. I make a list of words I can use to diagram your body: petite, mellifluous, comely, milk, necessary. Please, forgive the humming; you see I rarely taste candy canes in March. When I don’t taste you I taste sweat. Not good sweat, mind you, sweaty sweat from the men’s locker room. Sometimes I taste pizza, but that’s only because I loved pizza first. Let me say this: My love for pizza was fleeting. I was young and naive and thought that extra toppings meant something. These are fine days because they end with you. Let me just say this: I’m going to kiss you until my lips fall off. If my lips don’t fall off, I will kiss up your spine until I run out of spine. Then I’ll start over.

Year in Review: Favorite Posts, Part 3

Here are some of my favorite posts from 2013. Click the links to check out the posts!


(click) Unfinished Goals 2013

(click) Completed Goals

(click) Why I don't date

(click) Mottos

(click) 20 Questions


(click) Disconnect

(click) Breaking Down

(click) Moon Reflected on the Ocean

(click) The gravity of inertia

(click) Find part one here!
(click) Part two!

What I’m Building in 2014

20131207-123316.jpgthank you to Alexandra Franzen for the inspiration.

*In 2014, I am building:

A place to Find Encouragement & Uplifting Positivity
For successful women Devoted to a better life and better health

“Have Fun, Be Relaxed: You Can Do It.”

*This building — my body of work — will include a few very helpful offerings for the world, including:

•Massages: 2x a month &90-min sessions

•Simple Aromatherapy: space fizzies, coconut butter massage bars

•Collage Parties: with wine and friends

*In order to build what I want to build, I’ll need to release / remove a few things from my world, including:

•Helplessness (ask for help)
•Depression (reach out, be grateful)
•Overwhelm (one bite at a time)
•Procrastination (set timers)
•Clutter (get rid of things every month)

*Because what I really want to be known for is:

•Adding, not subtracting
•Laughing, not complaining
•Positivity, not criticizing
•Moving forward, not standing still

*When things start to feel overwhelming, I will keep it simple by reminding myself that my job is simply to:

Be generous.

*And by this time next year, I will be SO proud to have completed ONE big thing, which is:

Pay off my loans so I can be debt free!

And THAT is my plan for 2014.


Wordy Wednesday: Dreams I’ve Had #3, The Weddings

Dreams I’ve Had #3

Vanessa was getting married and so was TJ. Vanessa and all of her bridesmaids were wearing camouflage dresses with pink lining and TJ had a super bushy beard.

I was supposed to make an announcement but no one would tell me what it was. Melissa hadn’t told me about the rehearsal dinner because I had looked “too tired.”

A toad, a baby octopus and a snake were coming out of the floor in my room. My mom picked up the baby octopus and it morphed into a tiny cat. The snake suddenly had two heads and then turned into two cats.
Then sour gummy worms started coming up out of my floor, too.

Super heights, green fridges, fake pancakes with real syrup, Melissa chasing me.

Wordy Wednesday: Dreams I’ve Had #2, Sean Connery


Dreams I’ve Had #2

Sean Connery was going to pay me $20/hr to keep him warm.

My mom and aunt Terri had a bet how warm I could keep him–mom said 98 degrees, Terri said 380 degrees. The real temp was 78 degrees so mom won.

She said I needed a belt and happy meal clothes to stay warm. ((Great advice))

And then I was going to have to walk home but it was snowing and I didn’t have any shoes on.

They were making a movie called The Eye and Cthulhu (the eye of Sauron vs Cthulhu)

I was supposed to feel glamorous but I kept thinking I make more than $20/hr working for myself. I should be making $200 or $2000/hr–

I mean it is Sean Connery and he made me feel uncomfortable.

Wordy Wednesday: Dreams I’ve Had #1, Workout Cult


Dreams I’ve Had #1

There was an exercise cult where they were really mean to you but gave you cute workout outfits–some people escaped but I just wanted the shirt that went over one shoulder. My mom wanted to join, too.

I was having bowls of cereal with ice cubes and telling Tj that it was weird but the ice cubes tasted good.

My mom looked like a monster from behind: she had all these weird muscles.

I was finally led down an all white corridor and NOT given workout clothes because what I was wearing was good enough.

I found out they were just doing yoga and I got paid to do it.

Wordy Wednesday: Love by Roy Croft

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light all the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite fare enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good,
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done if
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.

Wordy Wednesday: Little Clown, My Heart by Sandra Cisneros


Little clown, my heart,
Spangled again and lopsided,
Handstands and Peking pirouettes,
Backflips snapping open like
A carpenter’s hinged ruler,

Little gimp-footed hurray,
Paper parasol of pleasures,
Fleshy undertongue of sorrows,
Sweet potato plant of my addictions,

Acapulco cliff-diver corazón,
Fine as an obsidian dagger,
Alley-oop and here we go
Into the froth, my life,
Into the flames!

Wordy Wednesday: Companion by Jo McDougall

When Grief came to visit,
she hung her skirts and jackets in my closet.
She claimed the only bath.

When I protested,
she assured me it would be
only for a little while.

Then she fell in love with the house,
repapered the rooms,
laid green carpet in the den.

She’s a good listener
and plays a mean game of Bridge.
Bust it’s been seven years.

Once, I ordered her outright to leave.
Days later
she came back, weeping.

I’d enjoyed my mornings,
coffee for one;
my solitary sunsets,
my Tolstoy and Molière.

I asked her in.


Wordy Wednesday: Sign by Marge Piercy

The first white hair could in my hand,
more wire than down.
Out of the bathroom mirror it glittered at me.
I plucked it, feeling thirty creep in my joints,
and found it silver. It does not melt.

My twentieth birthday lean as glass
spring vacation I stayed in the college town
twanging misery’s electric banjo offkey.
I wanted to inject love right into the veins
of my thigh and wake up visible:
to vibrate color
like the minerals in stones under black light.
My best friend went home without loaning me money.
Hunger was all of the time the taste of my mouth.

Now I am ripened and sag a little from my spine.
More than most I have been the same ragged self
in all colors of luck dripping and dry,
yet love has nested in me and gradually eaten
those sense organs I used to feel with.
I have eaten my hunger soft and my ghost grows stronger.

Gradually, I am turning to chalk,
to humus, to pages and pages of paper,
to fine silver wire like something a violin
could be strung with, or somebody garroted,
or current run through: silver truly,
this hair, shiny and purposeful as forceps
if I knew how to use it.