PlanetJoy massages: an ode to self-care & vulnerability & restoration

The truth is: people can live without massage in their lives. They can live stressed. They can live tense. They can live crunched and hunched, popping and crackling, straining and aching. They can even live that way for so long that they no longer even feel it. They no longer even register it. They are too busy. Their brains are so used to living in fight or flight that they don’t even know where in their body they feel their tension: they just live in a constant state of tension. And that can work for them. Many people feel like that has to work for them. Many people don’t understand why they would even need to feel any different.

Massage matters to me because I feel like everyone deserves to feel taken care of. They deserve to find out how to allow their muscles to soften. They deserve to know what it’s like to not have that knot that they’ve managed to live with for the past 3 years. They deserve to release and let go and soften and relax and feel peaceful even for only an hour out of every month. Even for just 90-minutes they deserve to feel listened to and restored. 

When they walk out of my door they are, of course, welcome to go back to that stress. Or, they can recognize it and decide to let it go more often. They can drink more water, breathe more deeply, stretch, sit a little taller. They can take the tools they learn in my massage office and on my table and they can incorporate them into their lives and grow and find out what it looks like for them to live from a more relaxed place. 

I value the choice we have as humans to define our reality. Our choice to insert self-care into our daily lives and to have that care that we offer ourselves spill over into the lives of those we love.  So that we can better care for them. Because when you love yourself fully you can love others without resentment. 

My work is a safe space to settle down for an hour or two and talk about what’s going on in your life that is seeping into your body and your muscles. My clients are vulnerable with me and I respect that.  I respect their emotions and their baggage and their wisdom and the lessons that we get to learn together. 

My work is an ode to self-care and vulnerability and restoration. 

Because anyone can do a massage. And anyone can live without massage. But PlanetJoy is a safe space where you can be encouraged to live a better and more relaxed life that has an effect on those you love. 

Vulnerability is scary, let’s just try Approachability

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People are afraid of being vulnerable. And for good reason! Being vulnerable by definition means making yourself open to attack. All your defenses are down. You could be destroyed.

And yet. We can’t stay impenetrable all the time. If we wear 800 layers including rubber gloves and three face masks there’s no way we can touch each other or be touched. Not to mention all those tall walls we’ve built around ourselves….
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Let’s shift instead to the idea of becoming approachable. That sounds safer, right? If someone approaches us in a quiet manner, that is okay. If they speak to us gently, that might be okay. We might even be able to connect. We might be able to be honest. We might slowly open our hearts. We might become transparent and unrestrained.

And eventually, we might be able to hold each other and speak heart-to-heart.
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Instead of being vulnerable, let’s start with allowing ourselves to become approachable.

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The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer (a review)

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So, I REALLY wanted to review this book The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer and the goodreads app is being bratty and I can’t figure out how to do it on their website….I was, however, able to rate it 5 stars.

But, I would have rated it 20 if I could.

I have never been an Amanda Palmer fan. There’s so much music out in the world and I just haven’t ever listened to hers.

All I knew about Amanda was from a few articles online that I’d glanced over about how she was an awful person for making a bunch of money and not paying her musicians…..or something like that. Okay, noted, I won’t listen to her. Moving on with my life.

Also, it bothered me that Neil Gaiman left his wife for her. (As though I’m personally invested in his life and have a right to any opinions on the matter….it turns out that Amanda and Neil have a completely gorgeous relationship which I totally adore now.)

Then I heard AFP on Tim Ferriss’ podcast. She seemed really cool. Funny. Smart. And knowing the caliber of people Tim Ferriss is drawn to, I appreciated her instantly.

I wrote the title of her book down to read later.

At the library I stumbled upon it in the new book section and thought HOORAY! Fate has led me to this very moment.

But, I had no idea.

This whole year my lesson has been VULNERABILITY. Becoming broken so I can blossom. Learning to trust that other people will be a safe haven when I’ve fallen and can’t get up.

It took about a page for me to fall in love with Amanda Palmer. Her openness is so beautiful. So often we live so closed off….afraid to expose ourselves to each other.

Amanda Palmer lives the life I’ve always wanted. Not because her life is easy (one point of the book is that her life isn’t) but because she lives in such a way that she brings others in around her to support her when she’s falling. And she lives to support those who support her. She loves to really SEE people in a world where no one ever feels seen anymore.

I realized I hadn’t watched Amanda Palmer’s TED talk, yet, so I immediately pulled it up. It made me cry. It was such a gorgeous presentation.

Then I listened to her music. The first song I ever heard was I Want You But I Don’t Need You. I was HOOKED. My goodness this is my kind of music. Song after song the presentation and the “Sylvia Plath-esque” lyrics made me so completely happy.

The whole book I felt like I was sitting in Amanda’s living room, being told a story while we sat on the floor together in kimonos and we munched on hummus and pita bread.

I was amazed, yet again, at how important it is to really listen to where another person is coming from. We just can NOT judge people based on other people’s opinions of them. We must go to the source with open hearts.

Her book reinforced the idea that it’s only when you let your guard down that other people trust you enough to let theirs down, too.

It opened up wonderful nighttime conversations with my best friend.

“I think it’s just because she’s SO open.&that’s what the book is all about.How we CRAVE that feeling of REALLY connecting….it’s an addictive feeling when someone trusts you enough to tell you everything.”

“People can only try to understand what you give them. If you don’t give anything, they don’t even get to try….”

“Sometimes you have to get uncomfortable to reach out &touch somebody on a deeper level….to let someone really know you.”

Now the theme is continuing. I went to an acupuncturist in town, Emily Hedberg, and I felt like she really saw me. It made me feel so loved. She could see how I am so protective of my heart&what a hard time I have trusting people. I remembered so wanting to just be held and listened to when I was little….it’s amazing what our bodies remember.

When she talked to me about vulnerability, I told her about the book.

The cycle continues.

The gift must always move.

When you love people enough, they will give you everything.